My mind is a whilrpool of confusion emotions right now. I feel stoic. Deathly quite. It's like there are two forms of me: a ravaging, angry, hurt mind lookin for answers and a quiet, numb, desentisized mind waiting for nothing in particular. The last few days have been difficult. Everything blew apart and fell on my face. I was wondering why everything was working out without a hiccup in my life. Little did I know, a storm was in the brewing all the time.
So what happened? My sister hates R. And she told my parents. And she told them everything that is skewed from her point of view. And I have respected the fact that she does not get along with R, but it hurt too much to hear her says he hates him. To watch her put all the gifts he gave her ina bag and ask me to return to him. I stood there helpless, wanting her to understand what a big misunderstanding it is. All that glares at me and my parents out of this is that R is rude, insults everyone and has an anger problem. It is not true, it is not true and I am not saying this because I am blinded by my love for him. He did hurt my sister, but not enough to warrant this hatred. Never. Never ever.
I do not want to take sides, and yet... that's precisely what I'm being asked to do.
There is so much at stake here. And I told them about her bf and it just spiralled downwards from there. Accusations, past hurts, understandings, misunderstandings, mind blocks, pre-concieved schemas.... you never would know how everything merges together and creates a life-altering event that leaves you with two choices: you pick love and you lose family. you pick family and you lose love.
I realized, sadly, it is too late now to merge family and love.
I work, I work all the time to bring myself away from the feelings that contrict my heart and block my throat. On the verge of spilling it all out. I love my sister.. but I am allowed now to only love her from afar. She does not trust me, she hates me and it is not going to change. How do people patch a fractured relationship?
How do you heal hurting hearts? She is as much in pain as I am. She is hurting as much as I am. And I can't see that either. ...
Thoughts that have never crossed my minds flit across it .... ideas that should never belong in my head, should never enter it....
Is this something time will solve on its own? Is this something that will repair itself with time?
So what happened? My sister hates R. And she told my parents. And she told them everything that is skewed from her point of view. And I have respected the fact that she does not get along with R, but it hurt too much to hear her says he hates him. To watch her put all the gifts he gave her ina bag and ask me to return to him. I stood there helpless, wanting her to understand what a big misunderstanding it is. All that glares at me and my parents out of this is that R is rude, insults everyone and has an anger problem. It is not true, it is not true and I am not saying this because I am blinded by my love for him. He did hurt my sister, but not enough to warrant this hatred. Never. Never ever.
I do not want to take sides, and yet... that's precisely what I'm being asked to do.
There is so much at stake here. And I told them about her bf and it just spiralled downwards from there. Accusations, past hurts, understandings, misunderstandings, mind blocks, pre-concieved schemas.... you never would know how everything merges together and creates a life-altering event that leaves you with two choices: you pick love and you lose family. you pick family and you lose love.
I realized, sadly, it is too late now to merge family and love.
I work, I work all the time to bring myself away from the feelings that contrict my heart and block my throat. On the verge of spilling it all out. I love my sister.. but I am allowed now to only love her from afar. She does not trust me, she hates me and it is not going to change. How do people patch a fractured relationship?
How do you heal hurting hearts? She is as much in pain as I am. She is hurting as much as I am. And I can't see that either. ...
Thoughts that have never crossed my minds flit across it .... ideas that should never belong in my head, should never enter it....
Is this something time will solve on its own? Is this something that will repair itself with time?
My experience has been that fractured relationships left to time will jus stay broken. Yeah they wont deteriorate but they wont mend either. Best way? Talk it out. In a cool and calm state of being talk it out with evreybody concerned! But thats jus my way of handling things and so far there seems to be a fair degree of success!
I second the earlier comment...
Anytime lady! Hope things work out the right way...
Yes, Like GS said please talk about it, everything in life needs to be nurtured and worked upon...As i grow older I think somehow blood relations need twice much more the effort...
Hope it all works out well, just be open to it, to talk and discussion...
cheers...
I third Grey's opinion. N do keep the faith...
... OMG, my buddy Grey Shades is turning into an Agony Uncle!
Just kidding :) ... hope all is well J. Long time no see.